10 Commandments of Being the Parent of a Teen

10 Commandments of Being the Parent of a Teen

I've only been the parent of a teen for a few weeks now, so, I acknowledge that I have a lot to learn.

With apologies to, um, God, let me share with you what I have gathered thus far:

1. Thou shalt not make any small talk with random strangers in line at the grocery, for this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.

2. Remember thou art for transportation and money purposes only. Any other attempts at relevancy shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.

3. Thou shalt not attempt to engage guest teens riding in thou's vehicle in either verbal or eye contact, yet, thou shall neither be totally quiet in said vehicle, either, for thou shall be deemed "weird", and, this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.

4. Thou shalt not covet thine own small electronics, for they are no longer really thou's, and, any attempt to retrieve them from teen shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.

5. Even though thou knows better, thou shalt try thou's hardest to refrain from emitting the words. "Fella, ella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh", when female teen is talking about boys for this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.

6. Thou shalt not make any reference in public that thou has driven the teen to an event lest anyone find out that the 13 year old didn't drive herself to said event for this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.

7. Thou shalt not play music of any kind that can be heard outside the car if thou is engaging in any activity such as a picnic near the car for this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.

8. Thou shalt not perform any cheerleading moves in public despite their effectiveness for getting said teen to do what you ask for this actually might affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.

9. Though shalt not converse with or otherwise acknowledge a teacher outside of school business, even when said teacher is an actual friend for this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.

10. Thou seriously shalt not ask, "Where are they going?" when teen says two people are "going out" for this is not nearly as amusing to the teen and this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way

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